I grew up on a place where you cant categorized people who do it for this purpose– “There are two types of fisherman – those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish ~anonymous”.  I have seen them for “Everybody is after to fish for fish”.

A fish from family of bream  locally called it “Sagisi” we caught in a deeper part of  Batangas Bay. I never brought my DSLR on sea due to a mishap made by splashes from wake of boat’s bow on my camera that send it to canon for repair. I contented to photograph it on shore where I can set my tripod and shoot me like a model holding it with the fishing gear.

As they said, bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley. Blogging today might be the front road that skip the alley way. So here’s my bragging.

This rare November afternoon was supposed to immerse myself on a cold water of Ligpo Island, in Batangas for scuba diving. The great thing is I found other way to skip diving for fun. So its true..

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.  ~Henry David Thoreau

… Yes, the fun, the memories I found on it.

I’ll leave the prefight analysis to those fight sports guru. By far it’s the first time I will watch alone.  Everytime I buy  2 tickets for the sake of a companion, though she wasnt a fight fan,  She’s just  there to accompany me with occasional annoyance of errands —Buy Me Popcorn please thanks,hmp

Sometimes I loose track of dates, and often I set the context to dates nearer or at least in that month where fights happen , when things are significant and worthy of remembering.  I had a healthy relationship until the Pacquiao – Hatton fight. Its when my father died. That month I open my eyes to accept and regress things a friend once told me. “Loving someone who doesn’t loved you back, is worst than being alone”. I saw how that woman treat me, in times of my melancholy and bereavement .

I like what happen to Margaritos face(No I wont do that to her)…
After doing my chores to social networking pipeline , I ride a bike to Greenbelt and bought ticket with drinks stub from Bubba GUMP Shrimp.

I have been an avid fan of this sweet science since I was a teen. As I select my seat, the one and only available and its near the bar…. Alleluia!  Yes the 3rd time is sweeter. The witch is gone!

city sparrow on waste bin

Almost sweating on my way to descend to Ayala underpass , I take a shot of an unfinished building. Unbounded ends of metal reinforce at the roof top makes it look like…  , boy… we have a troll! Ascending to the opposite side of underpass I saw buildings  with odd cloud back-draft . I take a shot. Too early , again no choice of a nearby big yellow M fastfood for a breakfast I saw  the  crescent moon at this early morning of October, in between of nearby building under construction adjacent to office to where I work.  Not visually appealing photos but on foot you see things differently, unblocked by window glasses of buses  those things we seldom see. To at least suit yourself up, even without music before the stress of day starts. Good morning walkers.

My Engineers sometimes are brewing surprises to me  at project sites, they always frank me and bring up my goaty bearded face  trickled with silent tears. Ended up my peers in a project along with other engineers’ greetings  proliferate like  wild fires and so my tab at nearby canteen often fill up by “merienda” treats.

What are birthdays for? I seldom ask myself every year. It’s been months I’ve been living alone. The time in solitary fill up the time to respite my soul and then regression follows. What could have been wrong?. If my life’s problem is only addressable by computer logic, I might have solved my dilemma long ago. Almost a score year of experience fixing trouble in a network and communication that involve computers I can easily  boast such pride in mitigating systems failures, but that’s how life works, its cannot be quantify nor can be categorized with razor sharp precision. I thought relationship could be just simple as satisfying everyone with good provisions and care that sometimes neglect your well-being, that you too need rest.

Today, social network box of sigh “what’s on your mind” seems my window in everyday to suspire. From letting your friends know where you are or who you’re with, what makes you happy today to the very least –which upsets you.

Well, I regress and found I need rest on giving others favor. I need to cease making others good by dragging myself to misery. I need to stop the worrisome caring for somebody’s mess. I need not to feel “the sadder I get the happier they are”. I need to start  building my alphabet soup of IT certification that had been long dormant because of caring for you! I want it to be more challenging be it Cisco or VMWare .

“Life begins at 40 my ass! Cliché will always be associated to such phrase not to me. This is my  “Rites of passage” to my new self. I like to greet my self “Happy Birthday Bro.. Good for you!”

Engraved name photoshopped by NCenizal

Three months dearth of sleep, I assess my cognitive capacity towards works –its not good. Nous is there but extra kick I need to my kind of  work where solving a problem is like a game puzzle.

How I arrived with this deprivation , to write it is longer than all text summation of my three blogs combined.

Family problem, relatives, friends who dislike me… Well I deserve a fancy mug.

Financial problem, emotional outburst, incompetent peers who tend me to save their asses… Well I deserved a fancy mug.

Non fluttering feeling over caffeine even after sipping the last of it.  Slop my brain till it produce some extra thing I need. After all coffee shops fancy or not still , you hate the Styrofoam cups.

After prix fixe from World Chicken , a fancy mug from Copco beaming to my eye.. Well I deserved a fancy mug.

Work’s good though, travel in early as 3 am with my laptop backpack(with same accent orange color) and the clip hook “Yay”!!. Well I deserved this fancy mug.

The usual waking up, tired about something that I don’t know, a lukewarm water sips in between sliding my curtain window and checking up the alarm clock that I always snooze right before it sets on. I cant count the morning I have been in the mood of listening over  FM radio. Pop music were all over the airwaves  cant relate to the tune, lyrics are a bit jargon seems the days of music listening are overwhelm by techno sound that wouldn’t even mark a bit in some parts of my listening habit. I think I  let  my age bracketed to some form of Sunday listening mood. Where are the morning music? recently my cellphone alarm music “Wake up Boo” by Boo Radley, sometimes the hit of OPM True Faith — “Sumasarap ang gising” attune to my frequent sullen mood it deaden instead liven up my morning. Its not the music its me  . It was usually perks me up, set my mood into the groove of pulling my self out of my stinking bed. I need a new morning music be it a pop or jazz.

Too early to rush to  mainstream traffic, I drove my car to my usual route to work, longer but less irritating, humpy and bumpy chain of subdivision byways  . Tuning my FM Radio like a Russian roulette. I hit a music tune that makes my ear –to ask my hands to turn the volume up. Lyrics arrangement is new I know its new, but cant catch up with the Artist voice pattern to make it easy in me to search its lyrics over the net. One pass of chorus lyrics I said. I might get it on its crescendo. –”Darating din ang araw sisikat din ang umaga.. nakasayad ang paa mo sa lupa“, fragments of lines are in my head, but rhythm are still jumbled to help me ask my guys at the office, maybe I could sing that lines but all I got is like a poem.

Finally, one morning, I got it! I am right it is new. Its the same title album of “Panaginip” by Noel Cabangon. Wow smooching Google, Just launch, I want to hit the mall and buy it. I want to crank my car stereo in the morning to listen to it. I’ll be waiting for the morning to come, not for the morning coffee but this…..”At paglabas mo ng kalsada …Ay ngiti ang iyong makikita… Sa bawat mukha…

Galing mo Pareng Noel!!! you hit me dead center..

PANAGINIP

Noel Cabangon

Meron akong

Isang magandang pana­ginip

At sana’y dumating

Isang umaga

Na wala ng mga problema

Ang paligid ay kay sigla

Walang pangambang nadarama

At paglabas mo ng kalsada

Ay ngiti ang iyong makikita

Sa bawat mukha…

Darating din ang araw

Sisikat din ang umaga

Ngingiti rin ang langit

Maghihilom ang mga sakit

Hanggang ang ating mga paa

Ay patuloy na nakasayad sa lupa

Meron akong

Isang magandang pana­ginip

At sana’y maganap

Isang bukas

Na lubos ang pag-asa

Ang mundo ay mapayapa

Bawat bansa’y may pag-unawa

At mawawala ang poot at galit

Mananaig sa puso’t isip

Ang pag-ibig

Darating din ang araw

Sisikat din ang umaga

Ngingiti rin ang langit

Mawawala ang poot at galit

Hanggang ang ating mga paa

Ay patuloy na nakasayad sa lupa.

My Bike CAT-EYE Wireless Cyclometer

I’ve been taking my doctor’s advice to lower my triglyceride. By merely looking at limits based on my gender and age, my blood chemistry has some issues on taking much carbohydrates without watching my recommended daily calorie intakes.

Storms of work stresses, financial burdens, emotional disruptions of my social well-being and age have caught me under the weather recently.

After a nod of acceptance that I really need series of blood tests and an ECG that post Valentines day I was rushed to ER, I submitted to it.  Couple of days off with fasting and spending almost 4000 pesos on all of tests.

And all the doctor have to say after reading my results … “You need to make easy on carbohydrates and sweat a little” . ???? that test cost me almost a pair of wheel on my mountain bike, and all you have to say is just that?

Google Map Bike Trail route to work

For almost 2 months now, my car is parks idly everyday, and on bike wheels I have been trailing that path(see map above) to work almost everyday. I shunt my route to an alternative but longer route to make different patterns of work rate .

Its a breeze and thrilling ride to work, never been fit and never had a feeling like these, for so long. Never I’ve been seeing the smiles of rushing working ladies in a skirt much clearer than thru’ my car windshield.  Few drawbacks of frequent swallowing and squinting because of flying insects on my path but the trail is worthy as a trip.

Nothing compares with the simple pleasure of a bike ride.
-John F. Kennedy

A month and a half of with pedaling enthusiasm as If I just bought it like having neophilia every time I put my ass on it.

My car is becoming dusty,with untended PMS devaluating its resale value and never been use for weeks. Lots of squeaky suspensions and tired of dumping useless money in it.

I have never been late for work in weeks now. I throw away calcium channel blocker pill -(To hell with you!) .

I guess I could pedal the same loops weeks after week.

When all of your trying seems to feel lost and unforgiving, there are nature’s instances that keep you going.  A brief look over my shoulders and it keep me abreast with what’s going on.  Moments that captivates my few seconds and a sigh releases it all.

The older we get that more impatience we have.  With this age, I can’t keep pace with what to treasure and what to throw. Filing lessons of life seems to fill my dusty memory of remorseless failures.  No setback to back you off no sideways to make impetus skidding before going up. Going straight it’s the more contingent direction.

Back to drawing board to avert a failing life, it seems repairable and enjoy any activities that I could make use as an outfall of everything else but few good things.  There are chapters in my life that despair all my fizzles as I go along. Moments that only myself can solve the enigma of problem brought by my own nonsense egoism.  I tried to consider it as hurdles in life that will define who I am.

Realizing the importance of promptness rather than plan ahead, apparently a viable solutions to be agile and dodge upcoming problems.  One day at a time,  keep my cadence and focus is my utmost importance. Way to go.